honestly i am absolutely sore about missing rapture.
its not very often i get to spend time with my classmates outside school since majority of my time is taken up by cca.
i know its for the sake of my studies.
but i'm really not used to it when you're breathing down my neck.
you think i dunno what deep shit i'm in?
i'm alrdy trying my best to pay attention in class and everything.
i wanna scream.
i wanna cry.
i need some time alone.
going to school with a smile plastered on my face,
acting like nothing's wrong,
but deep inside,
i'm panicking, worried like hell.
i dunno how i can handle all this.
i didnt know that my studies could cause me so much misery.
where's my escape route when i need one?
sometimes its stressful cos i'm nowhere comparable to my peers in terms of studies,
and yet i hold a leadership position.
not that i regret but it just means i've gotta work doubly hard.
heavy cca duties is not an excuse for poor results.

have i ever mentioned,
i'm sick of argueing/talking back to my parents.
cos i won't and will never win.

up to this point in time, i'm still asking myself what the hell am i doing here?


diamonds in the rough;